Lasting Shadows Read online

  “Amen to that,” Dan said with a hearty laugh.

  The three of them laughed a little as they left the room, closing it up tight behind them. Quinn felt Lily watching him but deliberately did not look back.

  The church was quiet. The flock of ladies had all dispersed. He thanked Dan and turned to thank Lily, but she had already walked out into the sunlight. He fell into step behind and then alongside her.

  “Thank you,” he said. “Everything I learned today was invaluable.”

  “Of course,” she said. She eyed him a long moment as they walked.

  “Look, um, I was wondering, if you’re not busy this evening perhaps we might have dinner and talk about it more?”

  She smirked, unlocking her car door.

  “And if you don’t mind, perhaps I can record the conversation this time,” he said. “I usually do that but I didn’t want to intrude since you were so emotional.”

  She took a deep breath and looked down into her car.

  “It wouldn’t have felt very respectful,” he said.

  She met his gaze. Her hair twisted up in a blast of wind, but she stayed firm, staring right back at him.

  “I haven’t allowed myself anything like that for a very long time,” she said.

  “If it’s been five years, Lily…”

  She closed her eyes, turning away from him. He stepped a little closer, rubbing the back of his fingers on her hand.

  “You’ve been hurting for so long,” he said. “Allow someone the chance to make you smile again. Even if it’s not me. Let someone in.”

  He turned and began making the long hike to the other side of the parking lot where his car sat, gleaming in the sunlight. He heard her car crank up behind him. She pulled up next to him as he walked.

  “Why did you park so far?”

  He grinned.

  “Observation,” he said. “So I could watch the people walking in.”

  “Ah!”

  She kept right with him until he reached the car door. The doors all unlocked as he hit the button. He turned back, seeing her watching him in her car as he opened his door and slid into the driver’s seat. She turned, her window facing him and rolled it down.

  “Just one dinner?” She shouted over the engine of her car.

  He eyed her, holding his sunglasses.

  “That’s all I asked for,” he said.

  He watched her mulling it over, biting her lip, her carefully plucked brows sinking low and crushing together. She squinted at him again.

  “Tonight?”

  “If you have the time.”

  “I will, but not until about six.”

  “Then six it is.”

  They looked at each other for a long moment.

  “No pressure, Lily,” he said. “Just dinner. Just talking. Alright?”

  Her lips cracked into a half-smile, making his do the same.

  “Alright,” she said. She gave him her number and pulled away, cruising to the exit and disappearing down the hill.

  He plugged her number in his phone and broke into a grin, slipping his sunglasses back on his nose.

  ***

  He turned down the main street, stopping at the northern track just as the caboose passed. As the traffic moved again he noticed Tamara heading the other way. She waved. He waved back. Before he pulled into the driveway in front of the house she had already texted him twice.

  He parked and read the brief messages in the car.

  “Hi, baby. What we doing tonight?”

  “Sorry, angel, got some work to do. Doing an interview over dinner. Have to make it another night.”

  She sent him a crying and a frowning face, but his mind was already on the evening.

  ***

  Quinn helped Lily into her chair as the waiter discussed the wine list and chef’s choice of the evening. Flowers and candles filled the center of the table, the mood dark, mysterious and romantic. Soft music played in the background. The centerpiece of the place was a massive circular fireplace, at the moment lit with electric, flickering lights and a fake silk ‘fire’, blowing upwards. He chose Doriano’s Ristorante both because it was very upscale, and also because it had opened just three years before. It was a place she could not have visited with her husband.

  “This is more than I expected,” she said, glancing around them.

  He smiled.

  “I rarely get the chance to do this myself,” he said. “I’m always working.”

  He lifted his wine glass. She did the same.

  “To a wonderful evening,” he said.

  She nodded and the glasses tinked together. He watched as she took a small sip, nervous, her hand trembling a little.

  “So tell me about you, Mister Tilman,” she said. “How long were you married?”

  “What made you-”

  She reached out and touched his left hand, running her cold fingers over his.

  “There’s a faint mark around your ring finger,” she said. “You have fair skin, so you must have gotten a little sun there recently. There’s a white line-”

  He huffed, laughing a little as he glanced down at his hand. As she said, there was a faint but obvious pale ring around his finger.

  “Well, to be perfectly honest,” he said. “We’ve only separated recently. Though I suppose it’s been coming for a while.”

  “Any children?”

  “Daughter,” he said. “Fourteen. Probably hates me by now.” He sighed.

  She shook her head.

  “I doubt that,” she said. “Daughters are angels in disguise.”

  “True,” he said. “But Virginia will poison her mind. Of that, I have no doubt.”

  Lily studied his face.

  “I have to ask then. What did you do?” She cradled her chin in her hands. “That is if you feel like discussing it. I don’t want to pry.”

  He sighed, putting on a dark depressed face as he stared at the table between them.

  “Really Quinn, if it’s too much, please forget I asked.”

  “No,” he said. He looked into her eyes, noting the flicker of candlelight reflecting in them. “It’s not too much. It’s only fair. You told me your story.” He took a deep breath. “We’ve grown apart. She’s so busy. She has a very high powered job, with heavy demands on her time. We agreed that the time she had should be devoted to our daughter but it got to me.”

  “Neglect?”

  “More like arranged,” he said. “Penciled in.” He huffed, smiling a little. “The joy faded away. The spark, well… Loneliness does things to us all.”

  He watched her frown slightly and look down at her glass. She lifted it to her lips.

  “So I became the villain,” he said. “I had an affair.”

  He watched her out of the corner of his eye, studying his face, curious and a little surprised.

  “It’s long over now,” he said. “I had my moment of wild fantasy and lost everything in the process. Now I sleep alone.”

  He met her gaze. Her expression assured him he had said the right thing. She seemed calmer and more confident.

  A little bit of honesty makes all the difference.

  Their meal arrived. They talked of shadow boxes and history and a little about religion. He explained his lack of belief stemmed from childhood, but that he had always held a fascination for it all. She explained her loss drove her to seek it out. What had started as volunteer work, maintaining the shadow box museum, became more about the church itself.

  “So I go, every day,” she said. “I help Dan. I help the parishioners. I help gather supplies and meals for those less fortunate. I collect donations, both monetary and goods and distribute them through our outreach program. I keep very busy so that when I go home I’m too tired to sit and stare at the walls, wishing my husband was still here.”

  A glistening tear rolled down her cheek. Quinn reached out and touched it, wiping it away.

  “I don’t mean to make you cry.”

  She smiled, drying her eyes w
ith her napkin.

  “You’re not making me cry,” she said with a little broken laugh. “I am.”

  He reached out and took her free hand, rubbing his thumb across her fingers.

  “So here we are,” he said. “Two lost souls.”

  She stared down at his hand. He let go and lifted his glass of wine to his lips again. When she still stared, he reached out again, clasping it.

  “Lily, you are a very beautiful woman,” he said. “Don’t wait too long. My advice is to find someone as soon as you can. If it’s not too intrusive, may I ask your age?”

  She blinked at him as if waking up. She took a deep breath.

  “I’m fifty-five,” she said.

  He laughed.

  “And here I was convinced you were a lot younger than me,” he said.

  “And you are?”

  “Forty-seven,” he said. “You have an ageless beauty, Lily. I’m honestly very surprised.”

  She smirked, shaking her head.

  “And you are an incredible flirt,” she said, though he noticed she sat a little straighter, her eyes a little more confident.

  He grinned.

  “I can’t help it,” he said. “That’s what you’re doing to me.” He blushed, laughing a little with her. “Making me feel like that teenage idiot I used to be,” he said. “Stumbling all over myself in front of every beautiful girl.”

  “And is that why you write as a woman? To have a female figure to hide behind?”

  He laughed a bit harder.

  “Something like that.”

  “You are an interesting man, Anni Que,” she said.

  ***

  They finished their meal and went for a brief walk along a riverside pathway, lit up with white mini lights wrapped around a few trees. She held his arm as they walked, talking and laughing, the cool nighttime breeze over the water calming the stifling heat from the day.

  Eventually, they worked their way back to his car. He held the door open for her before dashing around and sliding into the driver’s seat, taking her home.

  Lily’s home was a two-story brick house at the end of a street in an older neighborhood very close to the church. The place was small, just three or four roads and her house blended right in. Quinn saw little gardens, a few basketball goals, a collection of swing sets, bicycles, and recycling containers blending with mailboxes and paved driveways and parked cars. A paved sidewalk traced the outline of the streets, a little damp with puddles from all the recent rain.

  He parked behind her car in the driveway and hopped out, jogging around to open her door. She took his hand and stood, the two of them suddenly standing very close. He stared down into her gaze in the darkness, the bluish glow of a streetlight reflecting in her eyes. For the first time, he caught a very faint whiff of her perfume, something so light he would never have noticed it at all. He slammed the car door without letting her go and wrapped her arm over his again.

  “Nice neighborhood.”

  “Yes, it’s quiet. Been a joy watching the neighborhood children growing up.”

  He watched her face as they climbed the few steps to the front door.

  “But still lonely,” he said.

  She glanced at him and nodded, a pained smile on her face. He sucked in a deep breath and let it go as she tugged her arm free and unlocked the door. She turned around to face him.

  “It was a lovely evening,” she said. “Thank you, Quinn.”

  He smiled, staring into her eyes a long quiet moment. A dog barked a few houses away.

  “Thank you, Lily.” He lifted her hand to his lips and staring into her eyes, kissing her skin. He watched her lips part for only a second and immediately close into a thin line. “I hope we get to do it again before I leave.”

  “How long are you staying?”

  “Three months,” he said.

  “I see.”

  He smiled.

  “Alright then, I guess it’s goodnight.” He kissed her hand again and walked backward, letting her go. He turned to his car and slid into the driver’s seat. As he backed out, her silhouette filled the doorway. She waved and went inside, closing it behind her.

  ***

  At the first stoplight, he checked his phone. Kate had left two messages, both about work. Tamara had left thirteen. He checked the time and tapped Tamara’s number holding the phone to his ear.

  “Hi, baby,” she said, sounding very pitiful.

  “Hi, angel. You okay? You sound so sad.”

  “I am sad,” she said. “I didn’t get to see you tonight.”

  He grinned, laughing a little to himself.

  “I’m sorry angel,” he said. “It all ran a lot longer than I intended. I missed cuddling with you. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night, I swear.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep,” he said. “Let’s have dinner.”

  “Ooh, can we go to-”

  “I need to stick close to the house tomorrow, angel. Expecting to work right up until the last minute. Gotta make up for all the time I lost researching tonight. So I’ll cook us up something, yeah?”

  “Oh. Okay.” He heard her pout as she sucked in a breath.

  “Are you smoking?”

  “Um, no. Of course not!”

  He listened as she waved her hand around.

  “You don’t lie very well, angel.”

  She huffed and it turned into a cough.

  “That’s why,” he said. “Oh well, you’re not with me right now so I guess you can do what you like on your own time. But don’t bring cigs when I come pick you up tomorrow night, okay?”

  She sighed, groaning.

  “Okay.”

  “Just okay?” He made his own voice sound sad and pitiful.

  “Okay, baby.”

  “That’s better.”

  He grinned, laughing a little.

  “See you tomorrow night, angel.”

  He hung up the call.

  Chapter 7

  BAD BAD MAN

  The rumble of the morning train seemed to shake Quinn awake. He groaned and blinked, squinting at the ceiling with one closed eye. He sighed, feeling the usual aches and pains of getting older and stretched, yawning as he grabbed at his phone. For once there were no messages. He smiled and laid back on his pillow thinking about Lily the night before.

  ***

  A short while later, after his usual morning routine, he stood at the open front door, staring out through the screen, waiting for his toast to pop up. He held his phone to his ear as he peered out at the sunny street.

  “Hi, Quinn.”

  “Hi, Kate. Reporting in.”

  “How’s it coming?”

  “The first book is a quarter done. I think I’ve got enough material now for about four. This place just keeps giving Kate. It’s incredible. The interviews I’ve been getting…”

  “That’s wonderful, Quinn!”

  “Been doing some research the last couple of days but settling back down to work today.”

  “That’s great!”

  “Let Jerry know, yeah?”

  “I will. He’s away today.”

  “Yeah. Heard anything more from Gin?”

  “Nope. All quiet.”

  “You’re in a pretty good mood today.”

  “Bought something for myself yesterday.”

  “Oh? What’d you get?”

  “Just a little something I felt like I needed.”

  “Ah, a secret then.”

  “Yeah.”

  He heard the satisfied smile curl up on her face as she made a breathy laugh.

  “As long as it makes you smile, babe.” He yawned again. “Alright, well, my breakfast popped up so I am off. Later, babe.”

  “Okay, Quinn. I…” She hesitated. “Have a good day.”

  He hung up and blew away a sigh of relief.

  ***

  “I don’t know if I can hold on Reginald, my arms are so tired!

  “You’ve got to Christina! I can’t reach you
! Keep on coming and don’t look back!

  “Reginald glanced up at the column of flames curling up behind her. The smoke blocked out everything else.

  “I, I, oh god! I just… Her hand slipped. Her terrified eyes met his. He reached out and snatched her arm, tugging her up to him with everything he had. They rolled and tumbled to the relative safety of the tiled floor but held each other for only an instant before clamoring to their feet and running again.

  “You saved me.

  “Of course I did. What did you expect me to do? Let you die?

  “Reginald-

  “Christina, it has to wait. Yes, I know. Heroic deed and all that, and we don’t even like each other that much, I know, I know. But damn it, I’m not letting someone I care about die, no matter how many times she slaps me for wanting to kiss her.

  “Christina grabbed his arm. He glanced back to look at her and stopped. She stared up into his eyes, tears streaming down her face. She held his head with both hands and pulled him to her, pressing her lips to his.

  “His mouth agape, eyes wide, he lost himself, staring back at her in shock. She… She… She started… What the fuck is that?”

  Quinn paused the recorder and stood, turning to the front door. He listened for a moment, hearing music. He opened the door and peered through the screen. The old woman across the street was singing. The words were too low to make out but the melody was beautiful. He listened for a few moments before stepping out on the porch.

  “You have a lovely singing voice, ma’am.”

  She stopped abruptly. The horse huffed and stamped his foot. She glared back at him.

  “You’re a bad man,” she said. “She knows what you’re doing. You’re a bad man.”

  She made an odd hand symbol at him over and over.

  “Bad, bad man.”

  He shrugged and shook his head, closing the door behind him. Immediately he heard her singing again, picking right up where she left off.

  ***

  He worked well into the afternoon, the train waking him from the book to check the time.