Lasting Shadows Read online

  “Gotta get something to make for dinner.”

  He made a short grocery list, dressed and dashed out to the store. A man a little older than Tamara stood behind the counter, his bare arms covered with tattoos, two of them wards against spirits. His head was shaved, his nose pierced, a dark soul patch pointed down from under his bottom lip. He wore a red t-shirt with a mesmerizing design on the front and several heavy silver bracelets. He nodded at Quinn, his dark eyes shining.

  “S’up man?”

  “No Tamara today?”

  “Already had her shift,” he said. “You must be Quinn. My god, she cannot shut up about you.”

  Quinn chuckled. He stuck out his hand.

  “And you are?”

  “Billy Cranton.”

  “Nice to meet you, Billy.” He grabbed up a basket.

  “Yep. You too. So you write them chick books?”

  “Romance, yeah.”

  “You get a lot of money for that?”

  “Decent enough at the moment. I’m not rich or anything, but I do alright.”

  Billy sniffed, nodding.

  “Thinking about trying it,” he said. “Is there a trick to it? Knowing what they want?”

  Quinn smirked as he collected what he needed. He shrugged.

  “They want what we want,” he said. “Love, respect, and sex.” He tilted his head to the side and grinned at Billy. “Lots of sex.”

  Billy just laughed.

  “Maybe for you,” he said. “But not from my experience, man.”

  “Can’t get a girl around here, Billy?”

  The big man frowned. He was a tower of muscle with a little bit of a beer gut.

  “None of the ones around here fit the bill,” he said. “Too uptight. Too nice. Too religious.”

  “With five churches in this town I can see that,” Quinn said.

  “I’m in a rock band,” Billy said. “So all these little church girls are scared of me.”

  “So you’re the bad boy,” Quinn said, setting the full basket on the counter.

  Billy smirked.

  “In a way, yeah.”

  “Sometimes they like the bad man, Billy,” Quinn said. “You just gotta give ‘em what they crave first. Then you get what you need.”

  Billy studied his face.

  “So butter ‘em up?” he asked. “Get ‘em all worked up and-”

  “In love with you.”

  “And then?”

  “Get pushy with the ones who’ll go for that, and wait on the ones who won’t. Some require a delicate approach. They have to feel you deserve it. Others like to be convinced.”

  “You really know your shit, huh?”

  “Many years of practice,” Quinn said.

  “All that research for your writing, yeah?”

  Quinn laughed a little to himself.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Something like that.”

  Billy rang Quinn up, bagged the items and he left, still smirking a little at the conversation. He turned the corner to find Tamara leaning against his car. He grinned.

  “I just got off my shift about a half-hour ago,” she said. “Saw you were parked here.” She waited and watched as he put the bags in the trunk. “So what are we having for dinner, baby?”

  He slipped on his sunglasses and walked around to her. She smiled at him.

  “Why don’t we make it an early dinner?” he said, opening the passenger side door for her.

  He slid into the driver’s seat and cranked up the car.

  “But if we do that I’ll have to call it an early night,” he said. “I was in the middle of a pile of work.”

  “Alright.”

  ***

  At the house, he turned off his phone as he gathered the groceries. Tamara waited at the front door, looking over at the woman across the street.

  “Bad bad man,” the old woman said, her voice quietly chanting.

  He climbed the steps, glancing back over his shoulder at her. Tamara took one of his bags so he could unlock the door, still watching the old woman.

  “She’s always been like that,” she said. “I remember her when I was a little girl. Her husband took her out with him then. She was always mumbling or singing or staring or something.”

  “Yeah, creeps me out a bit,” Quinn said. The rush of the cooler air inside made Tamara’s hair flutter.

  “She’s harmless though.”

  “That’s what I’m told,” he said. “But she still freaks me out.”

  Tamara made a pouty smile and wrapped her arms around him.

  “I’ll protect you, baby. The creepy old lady can’t get you with me here.”

  He laughed, patting her arms.

  ***

  Tamara helped him cook and clean the dishes. They ate in the living room, sharing the recliner and watching some show she wanted to see on the television. He made sure to touch her places that made her tremble a little, snuggling closer to him, all through the meal, so that by the time they were done eating she was curled up in his arms as they kissed and fondled each other. He tugged her on top of him and convinced her to let him inside her, laying back in the chair, guiding her through, letting her do all the work.

  Afterward, just as it was getting dark, he drove her back to the store to get her car. They kissed in the darkness of the parking lot where no one would see them. He watched as she left for home and then switched on his phone. Kate had messaged three times. His wife had messaged once. He tensed.

  His mind went over every possible scenario as he made the short trip home. What would he say if she begged him back? What would he say if she wanted to see him? What would he say if she wanted to discuss the divorce? He took a deep breath as he went inside the house and pressed his thumb to her name on his phone.

  “About time you returned my call.”

  “I keep my phone off while I’m working, Gin.”

  “Working. Pfft.” She huffed. “You mean seducing some-”

  “Why did you want me to call?”

  “I’ve been thinking. I don’t think you should go to Angela’s concert.”

  A shock shuddered through Quinn.

  The concert. Tuesday.

  “And why not?”

  “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “Why? I’m her father. Of course, I want to be there. Unless there’s someone else you have planned to take with you.”

  “Someone else?”

  “I know you’ve had your eye on Eric over the years. And now that you’re technically available…”

  “Eric? In the main office? We’re just friends, Quinn.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m not like you,” she said. “You know, you can actually have friends of the opposite sex you don’t sleep with.”

  “Pfft, yeah. I’ll bet he’s already made his move since you kicked me out. I bet the whole building knows.” Quinn sneered at the phone. “How many you got lined up waiting, Gin?”

  She huffed.

  “See? This is why you can’t go to the concert.”

  “What?”

  “You’re fighting with me because you assume some man has come along in my life and taken your place.”

  “Did he hit on you?”

  “What?”

  “Did Eric Williams hit on you, Gin?”

  “No, he did not.”

  Quinn rolled his eyes.

  “Then it was Nick.”

  She groaned.

  “No one has hit on me, Quinn,” she said. He heard the frustration in her voice. “And these accusations are exactly why, if you come to the concert, it’ll just cause trouble, Quinn.”

  “You just don’t want to see me. You’re afraid you’ll want me back.”

  She huffed.

  “You know Jessica May and Brittney Powers will be there, right? Remember them? Angela’s friend’s mother and one of Angela’s former babysitters?”

  Quinn sighed, rubbing his forehead. Memories flashed of two very different women moan
ing beneath him. One on a kitchen table, the other in the back of her car.

  “I can no longer sit here and put on a fake smile in spite of your behavior anymore, Quinn. If you go, I know there will be far more trouble than I can deal with right now.”

  “But this shouldn’t have anything to do with how you or I feel,” he said, raising his voice as much as she had raised hers. “Think of Angela. Put her first.”

  Gin’s voice wavered. Quinn caught a sniffling sound and odd noises in the background.

  “Dad?”

  “Angela, sweetheart! How are you, baby girl?”

  “I miss you, Dad.”

  “I miss you too, sweetheart. I want to come see your concert but your mom is-”

  “Dad.” Angela’s higher-pitched voice still held a tone like her mother’s, a firmness and strength she inherited. “I hate to say this, but…”

  “I can even come early, take you to dinner before the-”

  “Dad, please listen.” She took a little gasping breath. “I don’t want you to come.”

  Quinn shuddered violently. He blinked.

  “What?”

  “Dad, I just can’t take you two fighting all the time. If you went and exploded into an argument and it messed up the concert…” She took a trembling breath. “There’s some important people going to be in the audience. They’re watching me perform that night. I might get a scholarship out of this, Dad. For music! And I just don’t want to risk it. So please, Dad, for me? Can you skip this one? Just this once? I swear next time, Mom will skip it and you can come.” She fell silent, waiting a long moment. “Dad?”

  Quinn dropped into the recliner, sitting on the edge. He leaned on his knees. He heard muffled voices and the phone exchanging hands.

  “Quinn?”

  “I’m here.” He heard the depression in his own voice, the sinking, slipping pain creeping into him.

  “I wanted to take the blame,” Gin said. “Let you think it was me who didn’t want you there, but she stepped up and took it herself. Strong girl. She’s growing up to be amazing.”

  “Yeah. Well, enjoy the concert.”

  He ended the call.

  Angela texted him a sad face and said ‘I’m sorry, Dad’.

  He closed his eyes. A weight seemed to sprinkle down on his head and shoulders. He burst into tears, moaning softly.

  He peered between his fingers at the phone, tapping Kate’s name.

  “Hi, Quinn.”

  “Oh god, Kate…”

  He cried and moaned, explaining what happened.

  “My own daughter doesn’t love me,” he whispered.

  “She loves you, Quinn,” Kate said. “She’s just looking out for her future.”

  “A future without me.”

  “Oh, Quinn. You sound so sad.”

  “Kate, I don’t know… I just-”

  “I’m coming to see you.”

  “What? No, Kate…”

  “Quinn, you’re crying. You’re hurting. You’ve come to me when I’ve been feeling like that before. So this time I’m coming to you.”

  She ended the call and he stared down at the phone. A sudden downpour outside drowned his thoughts.

  ***

  He sat in the living room, stretched out in the recliner, staring at the shadows in the ceiling the entire time he waited for her. Nearly three hours later, he saw the headlights of her car outside. He stood, feeling so tired and weak, dragging himself to the front door. She ran up as he opened the screen door for her and peered out into the rainy darkness, closing and locking up behind her.

  Without speaking a single word, he turned to her and she wrapped her arms around him. He held on, crying, her crying with him, her comforting hand on the back of his head. They pressed cheek to cheek holding each other until he turned to face her. He stared into her eyes for only a moment before kissing her with a devouring hunger that seemed to take her breath. He carried her to the bedroom, dropping on top of her on the bed, the two of them undressing each other before making love with a ferocity so intense they seemed to boil in sweat.

  ***

  What felt like moments later, the morning train woke him, the sun peeking between the curtains. He rolled over. A folded piece of steno paper rested on the pillow.

  “Quinn, I had to leave at four to get to work on time. I hope you feel better and that today is a much happier day for you. I know it makes you feel guilty to hear me say it, but I love you, Quinn. I am always here. Whenever you need me. Love, Kate.”

  He smiled at the note and lifted his phone to send her a text. Instead, there were three from Tamara, begging him to go with her to a dance club that evening. He let the phone drop and thought about the exhausting feeling of trying to fit in with kids less than half his age.

  How old would that make me feel?

  He blinked, frowning at the things he imagined until another idea flittered into his thoughts. He glanced at his phone. Lily’s name stared back at him. He tapped it and steeled himself trying to think up a question that only she would know the answer to.

  After a half-hour chat about shadow boxes and deterrents for various ghosts and spirits, he asked to take her out to dinner. She accepted.

  He called Tamara and told her he had another appointment. She stamped her foot and threatened to start smoking again.

  “But angel, that’s not hurting me, that’s only hurting you.”

  “Damn it though,” she said, pouting. “I really want to go to-”

  “Then go,” he said. “You don’t need me to take you. You have a car. Hell, I bet Billy would even be willing to take you. He could be your designated driver.”

  “Billy? Oh my god, that creep?”

  “He’s actually a pretty cool guy. And he’s in a band.”

  She bristled with irritation.

  “I wanted to go with you,” she said.

  “Well, it’ll have to wait for another night, angel. I’m sorry.”

  “Pfft. Yeah.”

  “Aww. I don’t want you to be upset. If I get the chance to get away I’ll come over there and give you a hug and kiss, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said. After a few seconds, she spoke again. “Baby.”

  “Kisses, angel.”

  She made a kiss sound to him and he ended the call.

  Chapter 8

  A LITTLE NUDGE

  Quinn and Lily went to a restaurant she chose, a quiet seafood place inside a renovated mansion on the river. They dined outside, looking out at the water by candlelight. Soft music played through little speakers hidden strategically close by.

  “I always wanted to come here,” she said, taking a sip of her tea. The tinkle of ice blended with the music. “My husband couldn’t eat seafood. He had an allergy. So we never tried it.”

  She gazed out at the water, watching boats and birds as he studied her. She wore tiny diamond earrings, a larger diamond pendant to match, hanging from a thin, delicate gold chain. The sparkle drew his eye to the shadow at the neckline of her dress, plunging just a little. Conservative, but still a little provocative. Her thin hands and long fingers held the glass in a graceful clutch. He watched as the sweat from condensation trickled down and over them, dripping to the napkin on the table. She turned to him and smiled. She wore very little makeup, but what she did wear brought out every beautiful feature. Her lips pursed a little as she smiled, the faint sheen of a mauve lipstick catching the candlelight. He noticed the wedding ring she kept on the wrong hand was gone.

  “So, what do you do when you’re not researching?” She smiled at him.

  “Usually writing,” he said. They both laughed. “You never stop, you see. Writing happens constantly. We’re always soaking up things around us, things we see or feel, or smell, or whatever. It’s a flood of inspiration all around us.”

  She laughed.

  “That sounds exhausting,” she said. “But what do you do to relax?”

  He tilted his head to the side.

  “I do a lot of reading, l
istening to music, watching. I like to sit in a public place and just watch people.”

  “That sounds like more working.”

  He laughed. She smiled.

  “I guess it is.”

  “So you never stop,” she said. “You’re always recording experiences.”

  He nodded, staring into her eyes.

  “Always,” he said. “Even when I’m not aware of it.”

  “So, I wonder if this little get together will appear in one of your books one day.”

  She lifted her tea to her lips again. He blushed, grinning again.

  “Maybe?” He shrugged. They both laughed again.

  ***

  After dinner, they took a long walk along that same riverfront park again, the lights in the trees glittering in the faint breeze. A luxury riverboat paddled past, dance music drifting from it across the water. They saw young people dancing, the fancy lights flashing, the vibrating thump bouncing back at them. He leaned against the railing watching her hands as they curved over the top of it. She stared at the riverboat.

  “To be so carefree,” she said, so quietly he thought she might have been speaking to herself. “So wild.”

  “We were young once,” he said. “It’s just their turn.”

  She smirked, glancing up at him.

  “You’re still young,” she said.

  “I’m only eight years younger than you my dear,” he said.

  “I could’ve babysat for you.”

  He chuckled, turning back out to look at the water. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her examine him.

  “We’re close enough now,” he said.

  She laughed a little, shaking her head and looking out over the water. A sharp gust of wind made her reach down, scrambling to straighten her flowing skirt, the light fabric catching the breeze like a sail.

  “I didn’t think it would be so windy here,” she said, blushing. He smiled, walking up behind her. He let a hand fall on either side of hers on the rail.

  “I’ll protect you from the wind, fair maiden.”